I never thought I would be the type of person who would go through a midlife crisis. I consider myself a generally happy person. I try to be nice to others and have a grateful attitude. I do my best to surround myself with things that bring me joy- like singing. But a few months ago, I found myself in the midst of personal turmoil and questioning everything.
A little context: when I was young, I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to deliver babies because I thought that was the most fascinating thing ever. I also wanted to be an Olympic gymnast after watching Mary Lou Retton get a perfect 10 in the 1984 summer Olympics. I also wanted to be a dancer and choreographer because I loved to dance. To be honest, singing was not on my list of possible careers. Then my 4th grade music teacher, Joy Jackson, told me that I had a great voice and I needed to sing. So, I thought about it. Through a series of events that left me with both physical and emotional injuries, my gymnastics and dance aspirations quickly came to an end. So, I sang more. I always loved it, but now it was becoming more a part of me.
Fast forward to the teenage years: I wanted to be in a rock band, so my friends and I started one. It was fun, but never made it out of my friend’s house. All through middle and high school, I sang in choir and started to develop my solo voice. I sang in a doo-wop group and we raised money for a choir trip to NY to sing in Carnegie Hall. I studied vocal performance in college and learned how to sing opera. It was amazing, but still not really what I wanted to do. I admit that I took my singing talent for granted and, to be honest, I didn’t think I was as good as other people thought I was.
For a long time, I let my insecurities and fear make decisions for me. I was happy to let others suggest what I should with my life. There was nothing wrong with it, really, my friends and family are really good people and they encouraged me to develop my talents and live life to the fullest. But when Coronavirus hit and the quarantine started, I was forced to take a hard look at my life and figure out who I really was and what I really wanted to do. And I discovered something: myself.
So, I am not a doctor or an Olympic gymnast. I still love to dance. I am still grateful and have a wonderful life filled with problems. And I love to sing.
I am a singer.
And not just any singer; I am an opera singer. I can see now all of the potential and talent that all of the people in my life saw in me along the way but because of personal insecurities, I never could. I no longer make apologies for my voice.
I sing the way I sing and every day I care less about what other people think about it.
I love my voice and I love sharing it with others.
I love teaching other people to sing and how to love their voices.
Singing is a fundamental part of who I am.
I have no regrets about my journey. The path I took was the one I had to take to help me realize what I had. I feel so inspired and motivated now. I came out the other end of my midlife crisis a better person and a better singer and I couldn’t be happier.